Why I stopped making Youtube videos.
At the beginning of this year I was determined to post videos every week. Makeup has always been a passion of mine and I really enjoyed making videos. Although I wasn't happy with the quality of my content, I was trying my best. My summer semester at University was great because I had most of my days off, so I could film and edit.
Somehow I was forced to start a new chapter of my life and at that time I felt no desire to turn the camera on. I was devastated because not only my life changed, I didn't keep up with my promise of posting videos either. I assured myself I was going to be fine, focused on getting better and put my Youtube channel aside.
Few months later I decided I wanted to leave the country so I booked flying tickets to England for the end of June. My heart break turned into my dream that I have always wanted -- to go to England. Being in this town hurt too much and I needed to escape. I'm proud of me and my friend (who's going with me), for being able to arrange everything on our own. It made me feel like for the first time ever I grabbed my life by the balls, excuse the expression, and took things into my own hands.
Few months later, here I am, so excited to go, yet a little scared. That's normal I guess. I have been thinking about videos I want to make every single day. I plan them in my head, write down ideas, only to realise I'm not actually doing it. I feel like I'm not completely okay yet, but I'm getting there.
We haven't booked a return ticket. This sounds so adventurous, haha! I need to get away. And a part of me wishes I'd stay forever. However, I know I miss filming too much already. I don't know when we will come back. It might be in a week, month or two or more even.
For now, I'm going to stay planning my videos and saving my ideas. And once I come back, I'm going to make it my priority again.
Love,
Bonnie.xoxo
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